I am sending you a link to a post of mine, in Soulcast, for your 'introspection', vide ID: gazebo_6,
Link: http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/22452/difficult-life
The question is Striving for.....Who ?
The "Baby" or the "Mother", he is waiting to be wombed....and see the "Dawn" of "Tomorrow"......
chingform posted on Sep 09, 2006
everyone is asking me why i don't want to have baby yet. but how am i going to have baby when I can't even take care of my own life? but the old folks say, no when you have baby there will be way for you ... ha!.. thinking so easy.I am so afraid to commit to bring a new life to this world. when I myself sometime have difficulties in 3 meals. sigh.
Comments
· sigroid75 said on Sep 09, 2006...
hi ching! ur having trouble if u wanna have a baby or not and here i am pining to get married...hahaha seriously though, the old folks are right.God has special grace for people who are in differentcircumstances. i dunno, i notice this among people.while they are still single, they say that they canhardly make both ends meet. then they get married.they still say the same thing, but manage to getthrough. then they have kids. they say the samething, but still manage even to send their kids tocollege. then they grow old. people never stop saying the same thing. but the fact is, i thinknothing that comes in our lives that we cannot handleas long as we don't give up. take care ching! seek the Lord for wisdom. mayyou make the right decision.:-)
· chingform said on Sep 09, 2006...
thanks sigroid, for the support and encouragement. but before that i would have to own a house first so that my kids would have his/her own space to grow up in. :) some planning need to make
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 09, 2006...
Chingform/Sigroid,I read both your comments, and this is the classic example of the 'cultural' differences in attitudes and life, of a typical God fearing filipino, and a 'rational thinking' Chinese. I am a Chinese, having worked and lived in the Philippines for ten years, and I feel that filipinos generally have a more 'positive' attitude towards life, trusting to God, that He will provide. Chinese, on the other hand, with the attitude that 'making a living' is important, do not see 'suffering' as God given, and strive to provide a safety net for their future first, before venturing.... It was surprising for me, to observe time and again, that these differences persist, and it's nothing anyone can do to change them.. Summing up, the filipinos live with "zest" and say bahala na!, while the Chinese knit their brows thinking, will my children have something to eat, when I bring them to life? .. Interesting!!!!! BTW Ching, "bahala na" in tagalog means que sera sera, whatever willbe will be..... :-))
· amanhecer said on Sep 09, 2006...
well i want to get married first, then have a baby :) and thinking about it is scary at times, but yeah i still want to do it and have the experience of it all. :)
· gwitatude said on Sep 09, 2006...
Ching, I agree with you. Don't have a child unless you know you are able to provide. There are too many kids in the world whom end up in foster care because parent's who can't provide.
· ayinkurie said on Sep 10, 2006...
SMY, You're chinese. I thought... you're indian blood. Or East Malaysian blood. CF & Sigroid,Don't worry. As Muslim, we believe that every chid has their own 'rezki'. Meaning, when they are born God has provife them everything. God will take care of her/him. It depends. Some parents will received food fortune upon the bith of their baby. And some will receive theirs when they are grown up. Don't worry. You'll make it somehow.Yours lovingly: Mom of 3 kids in a row.
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 10, 2006...
AyinKurie,I presume SMY means me, after checking all the posts.... What makes you think I m Indian (or Mumbai, as filipinos call them), or East Malaysian?. Is it because I don't write 'straight'? Or I pronounce 'eight' as 'egg' as a East Malaysian does? hahahahah Regards to a mom with 3 kids... Your husband is very lucky!
· chingform said on Sep 10, 2006...
hi everyone, sorry for the long dissapearance. just went out for a few customer site visit. hoping to find a living. somehow. .. :) after reading all the posts, it seems to me a conclusion to make, every child has their own 'rezki' .. :) i will make myself more confident. thanks everyone :)
· kezzye said on Sep 14, 2006...
you really need to be 100% before you commit yourself to having children, just make sure you have a stable life first.
· Frlncwrtr said on Sep 14, 2006...
chingform:You are wise to consider everything about your future, but do not wait too long, or life will pass you by.I think your idea of a more positive attitude will help you.You will know when the time is right.
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 15, 2006...
Don't wait for the perfect Male... You will never find him. I am already married.... hahahahahah :-))
· chingform said on Sep 15, 2006...
haha.. susmaryosep may be half a perfect man could be good enough too. :) but i had been married already. frlncwrtr>that is true. i am now 35.. may be there will only for another 5 years for me to strive to get a stable life.kezzye>thanks for your advice. i am trying to secure one as hard as i could.
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 15, 2006...
It seems that if you conceive your first child after 38, the chances for a Mongoloid baby increases drastically, and it's adviseable to check to make sure..There are also other medical 'disadvantages' too. For that reason, I would suggest try to conceive and get a child in a year or two. Besides, your mother in law will be still strong enough to help you look after the kid hahahahah
· chingform said on Sep 18, 2006...
hmm. this is what i am worrying too.
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 18, 2006...
Then take the plunge! God is there to guide you in all the steps... You just stop smoking, drinking alcohol. blog and read books every day! You will conceive a most beautiful and intelligent daughter :-)
· elia_ann said on Sep 22, 2006...
I was about to say what ayinkurie said. :-pEvery child brings good fortune/rezki for their parents. I was pregnant just after I got married! Like the malays call it 'Bunting Pelamin'. Yes, there was the constant arguments but Allah/God always has his way of helping us. I have 2 kids already. Wanting a third, a girl hopefully! :-)It's better to have your first kid now becauze you might not be able to have one when you're ready. I have friends who wants so much to be pregnant but none so far.It's better to start now since you're already 35. Doctors always say that age is a factor in pregnancies.
· Susmaryosep said on Sep 22, 2006...
As Sports Toto will say...... "GO FOR IT" :-)Or Nike........................"JUST DO IT"Or Toyota...................."Moving forward"Or Honda......................."The Power of Dreams"Or Air Asia................... Now everyone can Fly"... hahaha this is a joke....
· Taffy000 said on Oct 06, 2006...
Ching, I agree with you 100%. You are wise to think so much about your future children. I'm about your age and I don't listen to what the doctor's say. I can not possibly get pregnant now and have a child when I don't feel my husband and I are at the right point. I also agree about the house thing. That is what we are planning also. We first want our own roof over our heads before we can bring children into our lives. Gwit-Your advise is good but I've seen tons of people who can't care for their children so they get help from the government. There's usually abuse or neglect involved when children go into foster care. Children don't get put in foster care because their parents don't have enough money-jmhoChing-again don't worry about the medical issues the doctor's & other people bring up. Trust God to send you a healthy baby when you're ready. Even if there are some health issues that happen that's fate. I could never have a child now just because I'm in my mid 30's.
· Susmaryosep said on Oct 06, 2006...
taffy000,Just a question. If you are, say, 38, and you know your first child will be a Mongoloid, will you still have him/her? It's not an easy answer, I know. But I am trying to say is, if you can avoid or reduce that risk by having a baby b4 35, why not? Trust God to find a way to help you raise a NORMAL baby...... I have 2 grown children, and I can say that, you will find a way. Just don't take unnecessary risks by having a baby after 36.....
· gazebo_6 said 6 days ago...
My Dear Ching, Yours is an interesting and burning case-study, as comments to your post says.
I am neither an old folk nor of your gen. and culture.I may hence seem a bit different in my views.
People say "Man proposes,God Disposes".I believe "It is the God,Who 'Proposes' always and Man actually 'Disposes' out of his ignorance or stigma of apprehensive look at Life".
Have you ever thought "You are the greatest Miracle, in the God's Creation",as everyone should, but hardly do !!! Com'n,cheer-up,Ching ! Start "Cherishing your immediate goal(not brood over your three meals)".
Trust on God,and He has the universal "Proposal", bestowed upon you, while choosing your gender,the womanhood !! May be, all your miseries shall disappear when you fulfil it, that is being a Mother. Hope I am not too stigmatic. Love.
· Frlncwrtr said 6 days ago...
Ching, I missed your comment, sorry! If you are 35 and think you only have 5 years to stablize your life, can you do it? In 5 years I mean. If not, then what are you waiting for? Go for it!
· Susmaryosep said 6 days ago...
GO FOR IT !!!
